Christmas Tree

I put up the Christmas tree today.

I spent some time talking with mom. I asked her if she would move with me if I happened to find a girl and needed to move so that the girl wouldnt have to give up her job. I should have known it was just a can of worms.

Her basic response was this is my home and I dont want to move. This is your job and you dont need to move. The world revolves around me so tough titty and deal with it. If you get a girl make her quit and move here to where we are.

Robin

Eh?

I looked up my screen name I use to see what was still on the web about me and I found this that I wrote in 2003.

--> I don't post very often. Between work and school and raising my dogs andkeeping up with my friends I don't have a lot of time to answer messages or evenwrite them. I had a long conversation last night with my night staff about the"blackout" and how it related to prophesies in the Bible. The conversationturned to morale issues and how Christians should be walking and talking andliving in our time. Both of us have been in various churches and have seen thesteady decline in what is morally permissible. Anyone can see a morale declinein the lives of the people of our nation between now and 10 years ago, 20 yearsago, 30 years ago. The contrast I want to focus on is as the world steadilydeclines in behavior and permissibility shouldn't the church and individualChristians shine brighter? Unfortunately there is a clear pattern of decline inmany accounts in the old testament showing that as the nations declined inmorality so did it's religious leaders. Priests and leaders succumbed to theperversion that went on around them arguably maybe to a lesser degree but it wasstill wrong in God's eyes. Our moral acceptability has been our weakness as anation that allows expression of self and freedom in almost any form. We allowourselves to let so much gunk come into our lives that it chokes out God'sspirit. The big concern we see is the push of the homosexual agenda. There areso many lesser things that slip by often times unnoticed until it's too late. The movies that we watch and that we allow our families to watch are one. Wetake issue with the violence and the cursing yet how many murders and killinghave you watched in your lifetime? How many rapes? How many sexual acts? Howmany times have we watched witchcraft or magic? or someone stealing or someonedoing anything that we knew was wrong and enjoyed it? Movies are only a smallpart of what we let into our lives. We feed on the news of our nation and 95%of that is negative information. We read the horoscopes and listen to thefortune tellers and tarot card readers who divine the evil spirits forinformation? If it doesn't come from God where does it come from? Themagazines and newspapers we read are full of negative images and information. How often do we listen to unChristlike music? Have you listened to the words ofyour favorite songs? Are they edifying and lifting up God or a fellowChristian? How many men are addicted to porn? Physically what are you lettinginto your body? Do you smoke? Drink excessive alcohol? Take too many over thecounter or prescription drugs? Addicted to caffeine? Are you a gluttonfeasting after every church service (I am)? Lest you think that I'm onlypreaching to you I'm ministering to myself. There are sooooo many areas where Ididn't even know I was falling short. I am a Christian and I am in ministry butI also am a man and I struggle with many of the temptations that are common tomen. I just wanted to put out some things to think on because it would be aterrible thing for you to have spent all your life thinking that you were thecream of the crop only to find out that your life is based on the immorality of the world.

Wrecks of my life

My first wreck was when I was delivering pizzas on my first job. I pulled out in front of a car that clipped the bumper of mom's old Chevy truck.

I ran into a parked car in Batesville while I was drunk off Budweiser and Jim Bean. The only time I've ever blacked out from alcohol.

I was going to pay a lady $1600 for some chocolate labs I had bought and it had snowed and as I was going up a hill I lost traction and slid into a truck.

I was in Queens New York on the expressway trying to make an exit in rush hour traffic. A little asian man wouldn't let me in the lane to get off the expressway. I guess he thought I got to close so he gunned his car and as he passed in front of me he clipped my bumper on the semi I was driving. He spun around the front of my truck and hit a car and van on my left side.

I was in a semi in Oklahoma coming out of Missiouri and it had iced over and just before I got to the toll booth a lady in a Firebird lost control and hit my wheels and forced me into the dividing wall.

I was coming into Dallas from Ft Worth bobtailing a Kenworth and did a half donut into the guard rail.

I was coming into Dallas from Ft Worth with an empty trailer that bounced off the edge of the sidewalk (it was raining) and slid into a girls door.

I was in Texas having just woken up and getting my day started. It had snowed and that nasty road salt was everywhere. I leaned over to wash my windows (the washer was in the center of the dash on the right). When I looked up there was a sign and the end of a concrete divider. I hit that sucker head on at 60 mph. I straddled my semi with a trailer load of a/c's on that dividing wall knocking every axle I had loose. I ended up with a broken arm and a busted head.
The truck burned to the ground.

I was in Georgia in a semi getting a load and came to an intersection and had the legal right of way. A lady drove to close not reading the *give truck room to turn sign*. My trailer wheels went across her hood to the edge of her windshield.

I was taking my kids to church from Warm Springs to our new church in Pocahontas the very first time. A drunk came over the hill in our lane. It was either hit the ditch or hit a truck head on with a van load of kids. My tires began skidding on the grass headed straight for a pole. I stuck my arm out to keep the boys behind me from hitting the dash/windshield just before we hit the post. Good thing cause one boy was in the air already.

Accidents will happen but the key to getting thru them is to stay calm and don't over react.

Warhammer Online

I've been playing Warhammer Online a good bit. So far I've got a Sorcerer named Aon, a Witch Elf named Jaz, and Maurader named Jyason.

Eyesight

The eye doctor called to advise mom of her appointment and after a bit of thought I called them and asked if I could have my eyes checked at the same time and they agreed. Mom called Aunt Donna to ask about her appointment since they had went together the last time and it they agree that it had been 6 months. Aunt Donna asked if we would pick her up and we did.

We all had our eye exams and I was relieved to find that my eyesight really hadnt changed in 10 years. I didnt have any signs of mom's retinitis pigmentosa said the doctor and I didnt have signs of glaucoma. I am near sighted a bit with things further out being a bit blurry.

Mom has cataracts and the doctor said that in 6 months they might operate to remove them.

My glasses cost $236.

I sighted in my pellet gun and made sure my hunting license was up to date.

Look out squirrels and rabbits.

Stories of my Life *4* Driver Training

I was a truck driver for 3 years and over half that time I was a Driver Trainer. I went to Beech Truck Driving School. I aced the driving part of the technical course (amazing my teacher no less as I remember the look on his face when I got out of the truck). A week earlier I had gotten into an argument with the teacher because I had to do more than my share of driving because half our class had gotten into an accident and spent 2 weeks suspended from the training course. I remember telling my teacher that I could already do the course blindfolded in essence. He laughed not believing me so that look on his face when I made a perfect score was vindication for me.

Anyway I had a trainee with me and we were going into New Jersey or New York somewhere up north and we stopped in Virginia to eat one nite and the buffet was extra good. I ended up eating a good bit. We sacked out in the truck and it was his turn to drive the next mornin. He starts up the truck and asks me if I need anything and being warm and comfortable I said no so he takes off.

30 minutes later I am shakin awake and as I sit up I feel the urge to make a deposit. I tell my trainee to find us a bathroom. He looks around and nothing. We go down the road a bit more and the more we go the more urge I get. I begin pleading with my trainee to find a bathroom. I should have just had him pull over so I could deposit inbetween the wheels but my mind wasnt working.

I cant hold it in anymore and start turtle heading. I grab a trash bag and put it under me and start begging my trainee to find a toilet. It really wasnt his fault that there werent any truck stops on that stretch of road.

He finally finds me a spot. As I move to get out of the truck I feel the dam bust loose. I shuffle and frog hop to the toilet trying to hold something in but it was no use. When I got to the toilet I had poo down the whole leg of my pants and in my shoes. I had left a trail of poo thru the truck, across the pavement, thru the pumps, across the store, and into the stall.

I clean up as best I can and get him to bring me some clean clothes. This was in the morning. We got the truck cleaned up but had to press on so I ended up smelling like poo the whole day and into the night until I could get a shower.

Stories of my Life *3* Issues and Concerns

I began going to our church and taking time to pray in the sanctuary. I would walk around the room praying in a mix of tongues and regular prayers. I was driving the church van at the time also.

One day I went in to pray and there was a lot of focus in my mind sorting out things that were issues (arguments, differences in opinions) and concerns (everyone agreeing on the same meaning of a particular text, proper dress for worship, other small stuff). I prayed both in spirit and regular prayers as I went around the room.

Guess what the message was for that service... the pastor talked to us about the difference between ISSUES and CONCERNS.

I kid you not lol.

Stories of my Life *2* Supporting Prayers

I was staying with my grandparents at the trailer in Lexa. My pastor and his wife came and picked me up to goto a prayer meeting. We got there in Elaine and I believe it was at Johnny's house. Everyone arrived and we started praying. We formed a circle and I stood in the back a bit in a doorway almost and began praying.

I was praying in tongues and in my mind I began focusing on the people there in the prayer group. I focusing on praying specific things for them using my mind but with my tongue I was only praying in a spirit language. I continued around the room praying specific things mentally for each person.

When I got to the end of the circle (I skipped myself) I didnt know what to pray for so I just continued to pray in tongues. I began to notice my pastor who had moved to the center of the room. He started with the exact person I had started praying for just a few minutes before. He prayed out loud the EXACT prayers I had focused my mind on for that person. As he moved from person to person he prayed the EXACT things I had prayed for these people. He continued around the circle to the end and prayed almost word for word the things I had prayed as I focused on each person and he skipped me as well. I know there is no way on earth that my pastor could hear my prayers as I was praying quietly and in tongues.

This prayer has been an amazing focus for me in my life. So many times it has reminded me that I know God is real and that prayers have amazing benefits even when we dont know exactly what, when, where, or how our prayers will manifest their answers.

I've never in my life talked with anyone about what happened. I've thought about it a few times but for reasons I dont remember I never broached it.

Stories of my Life *1* No Name

I'm going to relate various things that have happened in my life. Some funny, some political, some religious but all true accounts as I can remember them. I do this so that there will be a record of the things that have happened to me for my children and grandchildren.

Story 1 -- Religious

I worked at the local hospital in Helena on the evening shift. I was trained to be a ward clerk, orderly, aid, so that I could fill in various roles for whomever was needed. There were two patients that I remember. One was a lady that came in. She was in her 40's maybe, obese, and had to be tied down. She fought her restraints and was constantly twisting and turning out of bed. One evening I walked in the room intentially and my hair was on end. I looked at her and in a forceful voice I asked her what her name was. She told me "I have no name." I looked at her harder and said "Come out of her in the name of Jesus Christ!" At that moment an aid came in behind me and I left the room (I wasnt sure exactly what I should have done). The next day I was doing my work and had to go into her room and she was sitting calmly in bed. She said "There is that preacher!" when I came in the room and she never had another problem during her stay as far as I know.

The other patient was an elderly man that couldnt use his arms and had to be fed. That same night I went into his room but it seems normal and he only asked me to leave because it was awkward me and him staring at each other.

I called my pastor to come and visit with me so I could talk about this incident but he didnt like me at the time (although he did visit me). He gave me a lecture about carrying around Bibles (I had two with me I was halfheartedly studying) and told me I was on my way out. I think I stayed with that church another 3 years and drove the chruch van for 2 years lol.

Repeating Numbers 11:11 4:44 2:22

Friday October 3 2008,

I came over to give mom her insulin and was bantering with her and looked at the clock and it was 11:11. I came in my room and turned on the TV and the computer and looked at the DVR and it was 11:11.

Saw 11:11 again at nite while playing Warhammer Online.


Original:
Recently I've begun to notice numbers a lot. The same numbers. There have been other instances but the day before yesterday I saw 11:11 in the morning AND 11:11 that nite. The next day I received a paycheck I wasnt expecting in the mail and I came in the house and the time was 4:44. Today when I didnt want to do some work I looked at the clock and it was 2:22.

I'm going to try to keep a track of when I see random numbers. A few weeks ago on 8-08-08 the check I wrote for my meal was 888 seriously.

It's not me waiting on the clock to change either. When I force myself to look at the clock it's normal time but if I ignore stuff around me (like playing a vidoe game) and get an urge to look at the clock it's often triple or quadruple numbers and more often then not it's 11:11.

I thought I was going a bit looney but then I did a search and other people are reporting seeing recurring numbers.

Family Reunion 9-21-08

We had a family reunion of sorts yesterday. Hope and Johnny had came down as well as Pat and Tammie. Cindy and her daughter and Mrs. Sparks was there. Mike and Rosie came with their grandson Alex.

We were going to BBQ but I was late and mom said to get some chicken from KFC. Hope said we were going to eat at 4 and it was only 1:30. When we got there they were already eating as Hope had went and gotten some BBQ meat, sandwich meat, potato salad, baked beans, had made some deviled eggs, and a salad.

It was a comfortable time. Lots of talk about the gas prices which ranged from 3.76 a gallon to 4.25 a gallon. Aunt Pat talked of people on the highways being caught by the hurricane as they fled from the coast. Apparently several had died, many had run out of gas, and there was lots of problems in shelters.

We talked about the mentality of Americans case in point being the free sandwiches that were offered at a shelter being refused. The volunteers being treated like janitors and babysitters. People who had run out of money stealing food from stores and delivery vans. People left the coast because of a hurricane and got motel rooms but then when they werent allowed to return to their homes they couldnt afford to stay in the motel and didnt have cash reserves for food and apparently didnt wish to goto a shelter. So what do you do. You steal, rob, cheat, scrounge and more so if you have a family to provide for.

Mike and Rosie came a bit late and Rosie brought a hot fudge cake and it was a sight to see all the ladies swoop down on the cake. Seriously. lol. After the rush I got some cake and my first comment was get me some biscuits. Grandma used to make biscuits with a hot chocolate gravy that we all loved as kids. That gravy in the hot fudge cake was a bit thick but tasted just like Grandma's chocolate gravy.

Johnny related a story that he had a friend whose family had run a radio station in Alabama that failed. The friend had gotten a hard drive and didnt know what was on it or how to access it so he called Johnny who is good with computers. Johnny got the drive unlocked and it was a repository of music. 60000+ songs from the 1920's to the mid 2000's. He said he made a copy and put it in a safe deposit box in a bank.

Alex is 4 years old and he was grumpie when he got there but after some Dr. Pepper he perked up and wanted to wrestle. I admit it was good to be around a young person again.

The place where Jim Ed has the trailer has went thru some changes. At first it was a mini farm with an old barn where Manboy raised swine and chickens and the neighbors ran cows. Jim Ed got some goats but I dont think they lasted. Now the old barn has razed and the ground leveled and they brought in horses. Pop the next door neighbor has swine and I saw half a dozen piglets running around in Jim Ed's yard. I saw a few guinneas also along with chickens and cats.

.

Commercials Jason Loves

Yep the best and the brightest that tickle my *sweet* spot.

1. J G Wentworth Opera Commercial 1-800-Cashnow Who cant resist this song!
2. Freecreditreport.com The lastest commercial is very snappy and I like it.

Commercials Jason Hates

Herein you will find the commercials that I despise. For one reason or another I really dislike these commercials.

1. BBC America The Foundation For a Better Life --> Special Olympic racing set to the High School Musical soundtrack. Man it just grates my nerves for some reason.

2. Nationwide Insurance I can't stand their series where they are in the church or at the family picnic.

3. Slim Jim Jerky spicy commercial. WTH!!!

The High Cost of Exercise

OK so I know I'm supposed to exercise more to complament eating better. Like all obese peeps I hate exercising. I can do it just fine and have full range of movement it's just the getting started part.

I bought a beautiful bike earlier this year and I think I've rode it 4 times. It makes a lovely picture setting in my kitchen being a resting spot for my dirty clothes.

Lately my legs have been tighting up and it's driving me to thoughts of buying a treadmill. So haphazardly I began looking in the local papers to see if someone had a used treadmill for sale. Being the thorough person I am I look up the models on the internet to see what other people say in reviews about the ones they had purchased. Most weren't worth buying. I did find one at Sam's Club that had a very nice review and was only $875. That is within my buying range.

The more I considered it the more concerned I became. $875 is a bit of money and I dont want another piece of unused equipment taking up space. My thoughts wandered to the new exercise facility a local doctor helped bring in.

The membership is $25 a month and it's 20 mins from me. On the plus side it's air conditioned, has both a walking ring and treadmills, it has other exercise equipment, and it has nice looking ladies in tight exercise clothes buzzing around.

On the bad side it's 20 mins away and it has nice looking ladies in tight exercise clothes buzzing around with snooty noses that turn up in the air.

I'm considering going to the facility every other day so that is roughly 3.5 times a week. A gallon of gas will get me there and back so it's around $12 a week for gas putting it at $50 a month and with the membership gives me a total of $75 for a months walking. At that rate the $875 I would have spent on the treadmill would give me a 11 plus months of walking in a nice facility.

I've done the math.

Muhhahahahhahahahaha

Retinitis Pigmentosa

I followed up on my idea to look up possible implant surgery for mom's problem of retinitis pigmentosa. I was pleasantly surprised to find that there are several implants that are in clinical trials.

A few that I looked at are:

The Argus II which is basically a camera in eyeglasses with a receiver implanted in the eye itself by Second Sight in California.

I just found this one Boston Retinal Implant Project.

The Artificial Silicon Retina Implant done by Illinois Retina Associates, S.C.

Optobionics

Intelligent Retinal Implant System

I think I liked the last two the best but Optobionics is small time still and the other one is based in New Zealand.

There are several others that are gearing up for the decades long process of getting FDA approval so there is hope for Mom's eyesight on the horizon at least.

Grandma

Me and mom were thinking about Grandma this week. Mom wants to get some flowers to take out and put on the grave. The only things I have left of grandma are a quilt, a 44 year old deepfreeze that is still running, a few scanned pics, and some turnip greens that she put up for me and Hope.

Flora Gross

I was checking the obituaries to see if I could find a copy of one for my Grandmother and I happened to see this:

Funeral services for Flora Scott Gross, 84, of Helena will be held 2 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 16, 2008 at the Greater Powerhouse Church of God in Christ in Helena with Supt. Alex J. Smith officiating. Burial will follow in Jackson Memorial Cemetery at Lexa.Visitation will be from 6 to 8 tonight in the Robert Lee Brown Memorial Chapel.Gross was born on Sept. 2, 1923 in West Helena to Peter and Pinkie Scott. She attended the public schools of the Helena-West Helena School District where she graduated from Eliza Miller High School.She was baptized and accepted Christ as her Savior at an early age. She remained an active and dedicated church member.After high school she was employed by Helena Regional Medical Center for many years as a cook and later opened a daycare center, which evolved into the Immanuel Rescue Mission. She also took classes and attended seminars to become a nutritional aide for the University of Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service. She organized a senior citizen feeding program where she and her devoted staff prepared and delivered home cooked meals to senior citizens. She also worked many years with the Boy Scouts of America-Troop 210.Her husband, Minister Wiley Gross Sr. and her sister, Louise Yelton preceded her in death.Mother Gross leaves to cherish her memory, a sister, Dorothy Blue (William) of Buffalo, N.Y.; a brother, Percy Nixon (Ole) of Denver, Colo.; an aunt, Hattie L. Williams of Helena; six children, Henry Overton (Tina) of Helena, Helen Dismuke of Helena, Walter Overton (Anna Marie) of South Bend, Ind., Doris Bland (Eddie) of Memphis, Bernard Overton and Wiley Gross Jr.; a devoted goddaughter, Beverly Henderson-Vincent (Willie) of Helena; and a grandson whom she raised, Theotrice Mitchell (Stephanie) and a host of grandchildren, nephews, nieces, cousins and dear friends.Brown’s Home for Funerals will direct services.

My personal experience with Mrs. Gross is that while attending Faith Outreach Church I helped a little bit in her mission. I didnt help much and in fact I received more that I helped. I was going through a rough spot with my mother and had moved out into a house with some Teach for America teachers. Our car broke down and I was going to college. Mrs. Gross let me use her mission van to goto college for a while. I ran errands for her and at the time I was driving the church van also. Mrs. Gross was always very polite and usually a happy smiling person. She will get to see Jesus before I do... I'm so envious...

Update August 2008

I worked on Aon and Taink today on Area 52.

I took mom out to eat at Jay's at Barton and then went to Food Giant in Helena to get some meat and tators. Mom got two beef roasts and some chicken breasts and I got some Cokes, Cheese Danish, Saffron Rice, Shrimp, and spaghetti.

We stopped at Aunt Donna's (Nineth and Garland) so mom could pick up some medicine and I gave Aunt Donna her mail. She said she had another lung infection.

On the way I asked mom if there was an operation where a doc could put an implant in her eyes so she could see would she do it. With her getting disability for her blindness I didnt know what her response would be. She said of course she would and that she had heard about a 70 year old man who had the same diagnosis as her that had such a surgery. She said she could get disability for her back and other problems. I may do a web search and see if there is a doctor I can write to about a surgery.

My Alternative Choices supervisor came over checking up on me. She told me she wanted my time sheet for her to inspect and I told her I didnt keep copies so she gave me a folder to keep copies in. Lol.

This evening I had a nice supper of saffron rice and buttered shrimp while killing Lootreaver on Figures on Area 52. I got some nice gloves but the cloth things I was using had more +heals on them.

I did a web search this morning looking for a treadmill. I found a few around Little Rock that were over priced.

I've been tossing around some book/short story subjects around in my head. I think I will tag them in the blog as #idea so I can keep track of them. One #idea for a TV series is a transport tug from the earth/moon to a base on Mars. Because each trip is so long a new crew would have to be used to Mars and at times characters would ship back from Mars.

Marcie offerd to let me have her lil male dog Gizmo. I'm glad I refused because mom said that Gizmo had a stroke of some sort recently. I dont want another house dog unless it is trained or I can train it myself. I also want to get a pen to put it in when I'm at work.

Jyason

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